170 – My Three Questions

Hello there! It’s Dr. D the “V”, David Madow. Welcome back to another episode of The David Madow Lifestyle Show. I’m so happy to be back with you for another incredible episode. Today we are going to be doing a show called “My Three Questions.” On Facebook I said that the first three people to ask me questions, whatever they are, I will answer them. And I did that a few weeks ago and it turned out great! I got a bunch of messages from people saying that they really liked the episode and that it was really cool.

So about a week ago, I did another one. And I think you’re really going to enjoy it. I’ve got three really really good ones.

First thing I want to do before we get into them is that I want to welcome new listeners, old listeners, whoever you may be. I really appreciate you! I think over the past few episodes I have neglected to say it to you. If you need me for anything, you can always reach me. My email address is simply dave@davidmadow.com. I always say that if you know my name, which I think you do now, you can find me online anywhere – Facebook, Twitter, Periscope, Instagram, wherever I may be hanging. So I really appreciate you and let’s get right into this episode.

My Three Questions

Question: How do you maintain a positive attitude when everything around you is falling apart? Terri – Maryland

Answer: Terri, first I want to start off my answer by saying, Terri I am so sorry you feel that everything is falling apart. But I am going to disagree with you. Everything is not falling apart. You know how I know that Terri? Because you were able to type this on a computer and transmit is all over the internet. I know you’ve got a computer, you have internet which you are most likely paying for, you likely have a home that is heated, and you’re putting food on the table I’m guessing.

Here’s the thing, a lot of times we feel like we are falling apart and I have felt like this too so I can speak from experience. We go through a bad phase of life; whether it’s a divorce or whether it’s the loss of a job or a health problem, or anything like that. And your mind makes it feel like everything is falling apart. But then you take a stop back and it’s really not. Terri you’re living, you’re breathing, you’re eating, you’re sleeping, you’re doing all the things that human beings do and I just don’t think that we should be in the mindset that everything is falling apart. Do you have struggles? Do you have challenges? Ok, sure! Terri, I do too and probably every single person listening to this episode today has some type of struggles. Some are worse than others. Some are bad and some are not so bad. And maybe you’re going through a really tough time now. If you are Terri, I’m really sorry, I feel bad. But let’s see if we can straighten you out today.

So let’s say that you lost a job (I’m just making this up right now, for all I now that’s not your problem). And it seems that you have little money coming in if any and you have bills to pay. And you’re struggling with that and it’s hard to find a new job because things are tough out there. Let’s just say that’s the case. Maybe it’s getting you down and you feel depressed. I’ve talked about this in the past and on fairly recent episodes. We ALL tend to feel down sometimes. We all tend to feel sad or depressed. Especially this time of year when the days are short and it’s cold out. It’s gloomy and the sun is not as bright as it usually is in the spring and summer. I gave some tips on this in Episode #167 and I hope you go back and listen to them. I wouldn’t give these tips if I didn’t think they work. I know they work.

Not that long ago I was going through a little bit of a tough time myself. I was kind of sad at some points. And I realized, what am I doing differently? For some reason, I got out of the habit of meditating every day like I’ve been doing for a couple years now. Somehow it just slipped away and I got into other things. As soon as I got back and started meditating, almost immediately, I started feeling better. I started to feel more upbeat. And not only that when I meditate I have all kinds of ideas that come into my mind. First of all there’s not way it can hurt you. I’ve never heard of anybody that’s been hurt while meditating. So Terri, I recommend every day or even a couple time a day, sitting down in a comfortable position and putting on relaxing music for 15 minutes at a time. Just concentrate on your breathing – in, out, in, out. You’ll be surprised that when you start doing this every day you’ll feel more at peace with yourself and you’ll start getting ideas. Things are going to come to your mind that are maybe going to help your situation that you’re in right now.

Another thing I would do is to move your body as much as you possibly can right now. I don’t know how you can move your body or what kind of situation you are in but anything you can do to move your body somewhat is better than nothing.

And if you haven’t done this yet, I would cut out animal products from your diet. I know I have said this before and some people don’t believe me but I swear to you that this is true. When you’re consuming animals, you are consuming suffering and sadness. And you’re eating those cells and they are being incorporated into your bodily cells. Again, you are not going to lose anything by trying this. I’ve been through this, I’ve done this, it works!!

So try these things Terri and if you need me for anything feel free to write back and I can help you some more. But I feel that you’re going to turn around. Just remember your whole world is not falling apart. Yeah you’re going through a struggle now. We all have done that. We all have felt that before. And some of us are going through it right now. But I promise you Terri, your world is not falling apart. You have people that love you. You know that. Am I right about that? Plenty of people on this planet love you! So hold your head high and keep your chin up in the air. You’re going to be ok, Terri. I promise!

Question: You mentioned in a Facebook comment not too long ago that you had to beg, borrow, and steal to start your dental practice. What did you steal? Steve – Oklahoma

Answer: [Dave laughs] That is a great question Steve! Um, what did I steal? Well, actually it’s an expression. I did beg a lot and I borrowed a LOT but I don’t think I stole anything. As a matter of fact, I am pretty sure I didn’t steal anything because I believe in living my life the right way and part of that is thou shall not steal. And I really don’t steal. I try to be as ethical as possible. I would never even get into a business venture with anybody I felt wasn’t doing them any good. I would never do something for money if I thought the other person wasn’t getting a really good product or a deal or something. First of all, when you do that, it’s basically stealing from somebody. Somebody’s hard earned money that they are paying you and they trust you to do something for them and you’re taking their money and they are not getting what they thought they would be getting.

So Steve that was a great question! I don’t steal but I want to tell you an interesting story. This goes back to my youth, probably about age 18. I had a car and this car was an AMC Hornet. I loved this thing! It was kind of a cheap piece of junk but I loved it! It was mine and I took good care of it. Not only that I learned how to tune it up and change the oil. Because back then these cars were not run by computers. Anybody could lift the hood up and could basically change their own oil and set the timing. I actually loved tinkering with this thing.

One day I needed some type of part for under the hood. So I went to the local Ames which was kind of like an early version of Target and Kmart. They had like everything there. So I am roaming around the store and I found the part that I needed. It was a tiny little part probably less than $5. I remember I picked this thing up off the shelf and I kinda looked around. And I thought to myself, I’m just going to steal this thing. I don’t want to buy it, I am just going to steal it. I don’t know why I thought that. It wasn’t the money. I had the $5 on me. But I think it was more that I was a young kid and it was a thrill since I had never done it before. I probably just wanted to see if I could get away with it. I don’t know. I don’t understand why I did that. So I looked around the store. And when I was in an aisle that didn’t look like anybody I put the thing in my pocket. And I walked around a little bit more. When it looked like no one was following me, I left the store. And I stole this little part. Again, I don’t know why I did it. But I didn’t feel good about it.

But here’s the thing. It’s the only thing I have ever stolen in my life to my recollection. I don’t think I have ever done that since. I don’t think I have ever ripped anybody off. To this day, about 40 years later, I still remember this and it’s never gonna leave me. It will be with me until the day I die. I won’t forget it. I can’t forget it. And I don’t feel good. Imagine if I did something worse than that. Imagine if I had committed some serious crime or injured or killed somebody.

And I realized maybe it was a lesson. Maybe God, or whomever you believe, was trying to tell me thou shall not steal because if you do it’s going to haunt you for the rest of your life. I can’t say it’s something I think about every single day but Steve when you wrote that question I started thinking about stealing and I did. I remember and I will never do that again. I didn’t get caught. I didn’t get in trouble. But I ripped somebody off. I did something illegal and stole from somebody. That person did not deserve to be stolen from. And here I am remembering it for the rest of my life.

Steve, great question! But yeah opening up my dental practice was kind of a tough time in my life. I did have to borrow from a lot of people and beg a lot of people. We got through it though it though. And things are ok now. Thanks for the question Steve.

Question: How do you decide to go to either go to the ends of the earth again to forgive and forget and move on from a close family member who has been very toxic in your life or that it’s best to let them fade into the sunset and end the relationship permanently? This is heavy on my heart with this being Christmas. Lori – Pennsylvania

Answer: Sorry about the timing but she wrote this around Christmas time and so it’s been a couple weeks. Lori, I am sorry that you’ve got this person that’s been weighing on you. It’s obviously causing a lot of concern, and grief, and bad feelings and you’re wondering what to do. I am not sure what this person did and I am not sure how close or not close you are with this person. But what I’ve been preaching for quite some time on my show, or on Facebook, or wherever I may be talking about this. If somebody crosses you the wrong way, if they do something wrong to you, or they’re not nice to you; then holding a grudge is not a good option.

The reason it’s not a good option is because think about what it’s doing. It’s only hurting the person that’s holding the grudge. It’s only hurting the person that’s hating. It’s only hurting the person that’s holding it into their body because the other person couldn’t care less. They might be a jerk and they don’t really care. They’re going around doing their jerky stuff and they really don’t care. So when you hold a grudge or hold hatred it’s only hurting you. It’s not hurting the other person. So people say “yeah but I can’t let this go. That person did so many bad things to me that I can’t let it go. Well, what are your options? Your options are either hold it in and have it become toxic inside of your body or let it go! Those are the options. And when those two options are available to me guess what I do. I let it go! Now that does not mean that this person has to be your best friend. It does not mean you have to hang out with this person. It does not mean that you have to invite this person over to your house.

I’ve done episode of letting go of the mf’s. You know what that stands for. Let them go! Let them go. Don’t hold any hatred or anger or bad feelings towards them but let go of all the mf’s.

So in your case Lori it sounds like to me there was someone in your family that you were contemplating getting together during Christmas or during holidays and you don’t have a good feeling when you’re with them. They’ve done some bad things or said some bad things to you. And you’re trying to figure out whether you should totally get then out of your life once and for all or have them in your life. Look, there are people in my family that I don’t feel like I am vibrating with on the same level or on the same frequency as they are. I am not saying they are bad people but when I see them I don’t have a warm fuzzy feeling. I’m cordial. I’m nice but I don’t go out of my way to make plans. And I don’t invite them over to my house. And I think that’s they way you should do it. If you’re invited to a party and that person or those people are going to be there, then it’s up to you whether you go or not. And if you go, you can be cordial. They don’t have to be your best friend. But I think as far as holding in anger or hatred, that’s where we have to let go.

So I hope that helped you Lori. The bottom line is to get rid of any anger and get rid of any hatred. Forgive! Forgive what they did to you. But they don’t have to be your best friend and you don’t have to have them over to your house. And you do not have to participate in parties or functions or whatever. If they work with you, then you’ll have to figure that out. Either get rid of them or you leave. But it didn’t sound like a work situation to me. But again my rules apply to whoever they are. If it’s your spouse, that’s a serious problem. You have to work that out or leave. And hopefully working it out is better. Even if it’s a parent. If they’re toxic, you gotta love them, but just don’t go out of your way to get together with them. I hate to say it like that but if it’s going to ruin your day every time you see them, that’s not a good thing either. I hope that helped.

Let’s do another episode like this really soon. How it works is that you can’t write in. I will put in on Facebook and say hey the first three questions, I’ll answer on my next episode. And that’s what I’ll do. I like it! And I like you!

I’ve gotta go now. So until next week. You know who I am, it’s Dr. Dave. Thank you for being a part of this show. See you next time!

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