173 – Depressed in Motel Rooms, Animals, and MORE

Hey there! It’s Dr. Dave the “V”. That stands for David the vegan. Welcome back to The David Madow Lifestyle Show. I am still in Breckenridge, Colorado recording this live for you. It’s going to be a great show today. Remember this is the show where I help YOU live stronger, thinner, healthier, and happier.

I’ve got a great one and the reason it’s a great one is because we’re going to be doing another 3 questions. This is when I go on Facebook and say I am going to take the first 3 questions and I will answer them no matter what they are. It’s going to be a little bit different because I have 4. #3 and #4 came in so close so to be fair I will answer 4 today. So let’s get going. This is going to be a packed show. You’re going to love it!

1. How do you deal with violence against animals on a personal level? – Blooms Day

That’s a great question! Number 1 , I’d say the biggest thing that I do is that I don’t consume animals. I do not participate in animal agriculture, I do not consume animals, I do not wear animals, and I do not go and see animals for my entertainment.

And by the way, I am so glad that Ringling Brothers, Barnum, & Bailey Circus is just giving up. They couldn’t make it because there’s just too much awareness and activism and people are seeing how these animals are being terribly terribly abused and suffering. And they called it quits. And I know a lot of people messaged me on Facebook and said “but Dave don’t you care about all the people there that are losing their jobs? Of course I do! I am a humanitarian. I love people. But guess what? These people can find other jobs. These people will find other jobs. They are talented people. The animals had no voice. They had no say! It was a no brainer. It had to end. And I am so glad that the circus is ending.

That’s probably the primary way that I deal with violence against animals. I am vegan and I do not use animals for food, clothing, or entertainment.

About 16 or 17 years ago, I rescued 3 cats that were outside in the cold. I brought them in and gave them a wonderful home and they’re still our cats. Their names are Phil, Ackley, and Jade. I think animal rescue is a really great thing. I did it. And there are only so many animals that we can take care of at one time. So I’ve got 3 that I rescued and saved their lives.

I give money to animal charities. I also try to educate others. I don’t force my being vegan down other people’s throats. I am not the kind of person that says you better be vegan or I am not going to like you or respect you. I don’t do that. I lead by example. People see that I am approaching 62 years old and I am pretty damn healthy looking. And that’s because I don’t eat animals. I just kinda throw little hints out there that it’s the best way to live. And a lot of people follow me. To this day, I think I am responsible for turning on about 110-120 people to become vegan.

So Bloom’s, great question! And I hope I answered that really thoroughly for you.

2. What attracted you to Breckenridge? – Jason Powell

For those of you that don’t know, I love Breckenridge, Colorado. I come out here at least twice per year with my wife Yoko. We’re here right now. We spend a good month plus here in the winter and a good couple weeks (at least) in the summer. What attracted me to this area was originally skiing. I love skiing and I want to come out here more to get better and better. Probably about 8 years ago, I was a decent intermediate skier. And I just felt like the only way that I was going to get better was to come out here and ski for a month straight every winter. And I did! And I got better at the blacks and the double blacks and the expert slopes. I’m still not the best person on the mountain, trust me. But I can hold my own. I’m decent. So I love the skiing out here.

But, what I have found when I am in Breckenridge, is that being outdoors in the mountains we don’t drive a lot here. Everything is within walking distance. I get exercise every day. Whether it’s walking to the chair lift, walking through town. The other day for the very first time in my life, I actually cross country skied and snowshoed in the same day. And we like to hike. And in the summer, Yoko and I like to do a lot of hiking and we do a race or two every season here. By the way, a half marathon in the mountains is very very difficult. And we like to hike up 14’ers. A 14’er is a mountain whose altitude is 14,000 feet plus. Let me tell you something. Try hiking up a 14’er at some point. It is not easy. The air is thin. It’s usually pretty steep, and rocky, and slippery. But you should try it! There is no such thing as an easy 14’er. It just doesn’t exist. There is no such thing as easy when hiking up a 14’er. But I think a good beginner’s 14’er would be Mt. Quandary just outside of Breckenridge. Very easy access to get there from Breckenridge. I wouldn’t do it in the winter. I would do it in the summer months only. During the summer you really should pay attention and be off of the exposed area of the mountain by noon. Because if you are on the peak at the summit when lightning strikes, you’ve got some problems. Time it so that you can start early in the morning and you are off the peak noon.

So when I come out here, I just find that I eat healthier, I lose weight, it’s kind of like a cleanse. I think toxins build up when I am living on the East coast. They just do. But when I am out in Breckenridge, I am able to catch up with better eating and exercising everyday. Losing a little bit of weight that I may have put on while on the East coast.

That’s why we love it here! The sheer beauty of what’s going on here.

So Jason, I hope that answered your question. Thanks for asking that.

3. Amalgam or composite? – Jarrod Thomas

As most of you know, I am a dentist by profession. I don’t practice dentistry anymore but I am trained as a dentist. I am licensed as a dentist. And I am also a dental motivational speaker in addition to what I am doing here with The David Madow Lifestyle Show. So I think this question came from a dentist 😉

Amalgam are the old time silver mercury fillings that we used to put in people’s teeth. They look dark and grey and are made of metal. Composite is a tooth colored plastic resin filling that is bonded to the tooth instead of being shoved into the tooth like an amalgam.

This is not a dental podcast but since he asked this, it’s very interesting. To this day, there’s a lot of controversy out there. There are dentists that believe that every person should have all amalgam taken out of their mouth because it’s toxic and it’s dangerous. And even if the amalgam (mercury/silver) was placed in your mouth 20 years, some people are saying that you’ve got to get it out because it’s leeching mercury vapor and is possibly causing all kinds of possible medical issues, disease, etc.

Now, I don’t have the answer to that. If I were a practicing dentist today, I would absolutely not be doing any mercury fillings for sure. But would I be taking them out of everybody’s mouth that has them if they’ve been there for 20 years and look fantastic? I’m not so sure. There are two camps. Some docs say you’ve got to get them all out and others say no if they’re not causing any problems and there no leaking and there’s no decay around them, leave them.

So I am not sure. I don’t have the answer. Some of the smartest people on both sides make excellent arguments. So I just don’t know. In my mouth, I think I have one tiny amalgam filling. Am I going to get that ripped out and have it replaced? I don’t know. I haven’t done it yet. We’ll see.

There’s some compelling stories though from people that say they had all kinds of problems and once they replaced them with composite fillings, they say their problems all went away. So I don’t know. Who am I to say? But thanks so much for that question Jerrod!

4. How long did it take to rebuild your life when when you were going through the worst of times in a motel room? – Mallory Henderson

Many of you know, if you’re regular listeners, back in 2000 or 2001 I left a marriage that was a 23 year marriage. It wasn’t working for me. I’m not here to bad mouth anybody. That’s not what I do. But let’s just say, it was bad for me and there were some serious issues. If I stayed in that marriage, I don’t know what would have happened to me. I might have died one day soon prematurely because it wasn’t working for my health, for my body, for my psychological make-up. There were some bad things going on. I will say that.

So I left the situation. As Mallory indicated, I was kind of homeless because I didn’t have a place to go. So I found a motel room several miles from where we lived and I just checked in and lived there. I can’t really remember how long but fortunately a lot of that part of my life is just blacked out. And that’s maybe a good thing.

Suffice it to say, I was miserable. I lived in this motel room. I had a car a remember that it was winter so it was cold and snowy and sleeting outside. I would drive to work from this motel room to my office every day. I was depressed and it was just horrible.

There came a point where I knew I couldn’t stay in the motel room any longer. That just wasn’t working at all. So I found a townhouse that I rented. I think I signed a 1 year lease. And I moved in. It was fully furnished but to me the furnishings were to me really depressing and ugly. It wasn’t a super clean place. But at least it wasn’t a motel room.

But I was just depressed there. I felt bad. A lot of the people that I thought would support me when I was in my marriage, turned out to be fake friends. They weren’t really true friends. My true friends stuck with me through bad times as well as of course the good times. You think they are really your friends but when times get tough you find out they are not.

So I was in this depressing townhouse. My phone wasn’t really ringing a lot. I wasn’t talking to a lot of people. It was very tough for me. But I started going out a bit and seeing some people and getting involved with some things. There was never really a distinct date on the calendar. Over time, the feeling of being alone and being depressed and feeling worthless eventually went away. Just trying to be social and have some fun, my life started to get better and better and better. One of the most important things is that I found that it’s not about other people. I found out that I really didn’t love myself.

I had a lot of time to sit alone in that depressing townhouse and contemplate, meditate, think and learn how to truly feel comfortable within. I learned to like and love myself. And that took a lot. That was difficult! Because in the past I would always go with the program, go with the flow. I wasn’t really mindful of my whole life. I was going with the flow in my marriage. I knew in my heart it wasn’t right but I didn’t know what to do. So I just kept doing it. I got out of it but it took a lot of rebuilding time.

Probably after about a year of being in this townhouse, I was riding my bike one day about 4 miles away in a really cool rural area. And I found this house that said “open house”. So I parked my bike down  on the driveway and walked into the house and I said to myself “this is my house. I want to buy this house. This house is going to make me feel good.” Well, a house can’t make you feel good because you still have to feel good within. You have to love yourself. I can’t stress that enough. That is the most important thing. You have to love yourself. But when you come home everyday to a house that’s yours, and clean, furnished the way you like, and has your own music through a system that you installed, and you can do things like cook your own food, you start to feel a lot better.

So Mallory, I love that question and appreciate it. I could talk forever on this. But since that you asked that question, I sense that you might be going through something yourself. Some advice is to realize that it doesn’t happen overnight but you will get better. The situation will improve. You will meet better people. You will feel better about yourself. I guarantee that! I have been through all of this. I have been through hell where I thought wow, if my life continues like this I know my health would have went downhill. It would have been a disaster. So I made the change not knowing what’s going to be on the other side. People stay in the same relationship or they stay in the same job even though they don’t like it but it’s at least comfortable. It’s a known entity and they are not sure what’s on the other side. But let me tell you something. The other side is usually a lot better. If you are in a situation that you know in your heart is not right and you feel it in your gut every day. I promise you the other side will be better. Will it happen right away, no probably not. Will it take a little bit of time? Absolutely!

I can speak to this because I have been through all this. It’s been a good 16+ years now since I left a 23 year marriage and I wouldn’t want it any other way right now. There’s just no way. If somebody said to me, “Dave I will pay you 5 million dollars to go back into that situation.” I would say “screw you![Dave laughs] There’s no flipping way. There’s not enough money in the world. So I hope that illustrates how important it is to make that decision in a situation that’s really bad. I am not a proponent of divorce. I don’t tell people to go out and get divorced. Divorce is tough. It’s difficult. It’s not fun. There’s some people that might stop liking you. There’s still one family out there. I am not mentioning any names but they still despise me because this family felt that I should have remained in the marriage my entire life no matter what. They hate me. [Dave laughs]

Does it sound like a care? My life is great! I found a wonderful woman who respects me and who understands me. And who understands my family. So no, there’s not enough money in the entire world to make me go back into a toxic situation. So I beg you. You know in your heart the right thing to do.

Mallory, great question. And I really hope it not only helped you but that it helped a lot of people out there.

Hey guys, I’ll see you next week! I’m Dr. Dave and I will see you next I promise. You take care!

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