46 – Unhappy, Married, Fat, and Very Worried

Slice-Your-Age-PodcastOn today’s show Dr. Dave’s guest Melissa discusses her marriage, and what it did to her life. This episode contains some incredible lessons. Not for the faint of heart. Please listen carefully!

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MELISSA – MOM OF 3, 39, MARRIED, FAT, AND SAD

You will want to tune into this episode! It is a life changer! There is a lot to learn from her story. Are you overweight? Are you in an unhappy relationship or marriage? Are you staying just for the kids? Listen to how Melissa’s life was dumped upside down one afternoon and her life was launched on path she did not expect. Listen how she turned she went from being over 200 pounds, crying every day, and was not living a happy or healthy life.

OCTOBER 2010  MELISSA’S INDUCED MIDLIFE CRISIS

“In October 2010 I found myself in the middle of an unexpected induced mid-life crisis. To me “midlife crisis” means that you cannot live your life another moment as it is. It must change. Sometimes it is your job, your relationship, or everything!”, says Melissa.

HAVE YOU TRIED EVERYTHING?

Dr. Dave has always said that being an unhappy circumstance will affect your entire life and health. You need to try everything to fix it of course, however, at some point you need to face that things may not change. You need to move forward in your life. You need to get unstuck. Sometimes you may need the assistance of a professional to help mitigate the situation and extraction. People are terrified of change and are more scared of the unknown than what they do know even if it is sad, bad, and horrible.

ONE YEAR TO FIND YOUR WAY BACK and JOY RISING

Melissa gave her husband of 14 years and partner of 17 years one year to find his way back to his family and marriage. Melissa sat there in the Oprah show audience as a live tweeter and blogger for a show called “Joy Rising”. She sat there thinking I am feel peace and calm, but I do not feel joy. “I felt stuck… one foot in the past…. on one foot in this intermediary area… not even one foot in the future.”, says Melissa.

STAYING FOR THE KIDS

I hear from so many people that they are “staying for the kids”.  This is a phrase that Melissa said to herself over and over during those last rough years in her marriage. Then at one point, when it all fell apart, she literally thought to herself, “What am I showing my children? A man that does not love me, does not care for me, does not spend time with me. A mom who is crying and sad. A mom who is not making choices for her food and body?” Melissa needed to leave FOR the kids. Melissa needed to show her kids that she deserved to be treated well and be respected and cared for, and to be a good example for her children. She has made her children so proud in so many ways you will hear on today’s show AND next week’s show. “We love this mom so much better! This mom is happy! This mom is fun! This mom is adventurous!” is what Melissa’s kids have said to her.

EMOTIONAL EATING

Is anyone out there an emotional eater? Do you cope with your pain by eating food to sooth yourself? Melissa was soothing her pain with food day in and day out that last year of marriage. “If you see someone overweight and fat, I say they are in pain. Find their pain and heal that. Then you can find their way back to health.” says Melissa. Melissa replaced her pain soothing and emotional eating with a pair of running shoes. She kept a pair at each door and sometimes went out more than once a day.

NO MATTER WHAT SIZE YOU ARE WEAR CLOTHING THAT FIT

“No matter what your size, wear clothing that fits!” says Melissa. No matter what size you are wear clothing that is nice, clean, and fit you properly. “Women, stop wearing big baggy clothing and huge tops that cover your butts! It makes you look bigger!!!” says Melissa.

FOOD, EXERCISE, AND DETERMINATION

“I attacked the food and exercise category the minute I moved into that condo. I was forced into some big changes and my life was turned upside down. So I took a look at everything and made even more changes that were in my control,” says Melissa.

FOOD

I started fresh with an empty pantry, empty cupboards, and empty fridge and freezer. I took this opportunity  to start fresh. There are only healthy foods in the cupboards and fridge. She had fresh fruits ready to go on the kitchen table, fresh cut veggies in the fridge, and great snacks and meals. There were only healthy food options for her and her kids. 90 days of this new program completely overhauled their health and energy levels. Can you do an entire food make-over in your home? Can you just take a big black garbage bag and throw out all the crap?

HEALTHY JUNK FOOD RULE

“We bake weekly as a family with all fresh healthy ingredients, we give away 1/2 to someone, we eat our portion that night, and they save one item for each school lunch that week.” says Melissa. They still enjoy baking, control the ingredients, and limit the quantity and portion.

FOOD HELPS YOU OR HARMS YOU

“You have a choice to consume food that helps you and nourishes you or takes away from you and harms you!” says Melissa. “Healthy eating is one of the most important things you can do for your life!” says Dr. Dave. You are nourished, energized, more vital, better skin and complexion.

CHEATING ON YOUR DIET

Some people in your life do not like change. “People put a lot of pressure on me to just cheat a little with this here and there. I had to tell those people the only cheating I am doing is to myself. I love you and your cake has nothing to do with that.” says Melissa. This is not a diet to follow until you lose some weight and then go back to crappy eating. This is way to live and  lifestyle!

 COME BACK FOR MORE MELISSA + DR. DAVE

Melissa and Dr. Dave had so much to talk about that Dr. Dave invited her back next week. They talked about the emotional side of making changes, the food and nutrition side of making changes, and next week they will talk about the physical side of making changes. This is another one not to be missed. Tune in!
 
melissa-dawn-lierman-photo-by-karl-raupp-port-stanley-marina-september-18-2012GUEST INFORMATION: You can find Melissa Lierman all across the interweb tweeting, blogging, facebooking, photographing, and instagramming. She was over 200 pounds, size 2xlarge, and has lost loads of weight and baggage. She knows what it takes to take it off with determination, a good attitude, good nutrition, and lots of healthy active fitness.
 
She is Woman 42. Grateful. Kids 15.13.6. DigitalGeekGirl. College Professor. International Speaker. Runner. Marathoner. #MomsRunning Founder. Locavore. Gardener. Baker. Narrative Photographer. GlobeTrotter.
 
You can connect with her all over social media!
LinkedIn: http://www.linkedin.com/in/melissadawnlierman,
FaceBook http://www.facebook.com/digitalgeekgirl,
Twitter @DigitalGeekGirl,
Instagram http://www.instagram.com/digitalgeekgirl.
 
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